Your Life is Divinely Guided

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Dear Friend,

Do you ever have those moments of intense confusion? You don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing with your life and the fact that you don’t know drives you crazy. I can’t be the only one… I hope! Sometimes they cause me to panic. As if I have to have it all figured out by now and if I don’t then my whole life moving forward will be a failure. A really helpful affirmation I say in times like that is, “My life is divinely guided and I am always going in the right direction.”

Now, I recognise this may not be your cup of tea (not everyone believes in a higher power). But I believe that we are all guided by a higher power (of many names) and an inner power and that both of these powers are divine. Yes, you and your intuition are an element of The Divine. Your ‘knowing’ (remember my last letter?) is every bit as deep and powerful as any external power, because really everything is connected. Everything. The trick is to pay attention and have faith in that guidance.

It always comes back to faith, doesn’t it?

 

All my love,

Angel xo

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Allow yourself to be who you are

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Dear Friend,

I’ve had an interesting week and I want to share it with you. It’s a bit of a long story, but I hope you’ll bear with me. I’d always envied those who knew exactly what they wanted. The people who were clear and confident about their goals; their burning desires. And I’d always imagined that kind of clarity came like a thunderclap or the first loud beat of a bass drum. For whatever reason, that’s what I imagined it was like.

So naturally, I felt like there was something wrong with me, because I’ve never felt that way… about anything. But the other morning I had the thought that even though I’ve never felt the thunderclap, I have still had moments when I knew the outcome of some situation. When I felt sure about something without any external evidence.

So, I thought about those times. The first that came to mind was when my parents were applying for us to move to Canada. Even before I could reasonably assume we were going, I knew we were. I told everyone that we were moving to Canada and my parents got upset with me for going around and claiming something that wasn’t certain. But, in my mind, it was. And I was right.

The second instance that came to mind was 3.5 years ago, when I had the LASEK procedure done on my eyes in South Korea. I’d been warned that it might take as long as 3 months for my vision to get up to perfect. They had even warned me that my vision would be blurry right after the procedure and that I’d need a friend to help me get home.

But I knew, going into the procedure, that it would completely and quickly correct my vision. I won’t go into the details, but as I lay there on the procedure table, the surgeon told me to focus on the green lights that were about a foot above my face. I remember thinking, “Lights? I just see one big green light.” When they were finished with each eye, I saw nine distinct points of light.

My vision was already so much better than before the procedure that I didn’t even need my friend to get home, and made the trip by myself. When I went in for the 2-week check up, the technician told me my vision was already better than perfect. “This must be some kind of record,” he said. But I wasn’t surprised by my quick response to the surgery. Thrilled, but not surprised, because I’d known all along my eyes would heal quickly.

So when I thought of these two cases, I thought about how that “knowing” felt. It hadn’t felt like a thunderclap. It was very quiet. And still. It was the kind of assurance that crept up on me, but then once it was there, it wasn’t going anywhere.

Then I remembered something I hadn’t thought about in years. My favourite camp counsellor once described me as having a “quiet confidence,” back when I was authentically myself – for better or for worse. Before I learned how to “get along.” Others have made similar observations about me since then.

Then everything started to fit. I live in the quiet spaces. I prefer to spend my mornings in silence (or as close to it as I can get living downtown) and most evenings too. When I’m not in “teacher mode,” I don’t operate as a big ball of energy. In fact, at the end of a work day, I need time to not speak so I can recharge.

So, why was I waiting around for lightning and thunder, bass drums, and fireworks? And feeling inadequate and incomplete not having experienced it? I am quiet and so are my moments of “knowing.” What a relief!

I’m sure you’re wondering what the point of my story is. I wanted to share it with you as an example of how just allowing yourself to be authentically you can feel better than trying to appropriate a personality that just isn’t you. Regardless of what kind of personality you see out there in society most often, we’re all different and it’s our differences that make this place so fascinating to be in. Have faith that who you are is what the world needs. Because it is.

 

All my love,

Angel xo

Letter for my Father

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Dear Daddy,

Happy Father’s Day! Last year I wrote you a song. This year, I’ve written a letter.

We are, now and forever, linked. You’ve always been my backbone, my sounding board, my sparring partner, and my blood. You keep me strong, grounded, and standing tall with my eyes straight ahead and angled slightly upwards.

You taught me that sometimes what I want to say may not always be the most helpful, and that sometimes I have to make decisions based on my long term goals and not just on how I’m feeling in the moment.

You even surprise me at times. You say things that make me look at you in a different light and appreciate you more and more. I can honestly say I think you’re even cooler now than I did when I was little. I admire your willingness to try new things and learn new things, and I love that you’ve included me in some of them. It has been a real joy growing up with you as my dad. Even when I was so mad at you because I thought you were being so unfair, I knew you would do anything to keep me safe and happy (long-term happy, not in-the-moment happy).

So, thank you for being my dad. For not just being around, but also present, which is not the same thing. Every friend and acquaintance I’ve ever introduced to you has said how lucky I am you’re my dad… Like I didn’t already know! Enjoy this day!

 

All my love, your daughter,

Angie xo

 

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Only Right Action Takes Place in my Life

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Dear Friend,

I’ve always looked forward to Sundays, because they often end up being my rest day. Now I also look forward to them, because I get to write to you. I didn’t realise how much these letters help me, just in the writing of them. So, I hope they help you too.

For as long as I can remember, having too many options has filled me with anxiety. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I wait too long to decide and the best option for me ceases to be available? What if there’s some other option I’m not seeing? So many ‘whatifs’ to deal with. Something that has helped me is this affirmation I learned from Louise Hay (I hope she doesn’t mind me referencing her here): Only right action takes place in my life.

What that means to me is that no matter what I choose, it will be the right choice, so long as I’m listening to my inner wisdom. I know there are times when I have to do some research, seeking external knowledge so I can make an informed decision. When I have as much information as I can get, though, my intuition still makes the final call. This affirmation gives me the confidence to do that. Know what I mean? It’s also great in helping me trust myself.

I wanted to share this with you today, because I’m at a time in my life now where there are a few decisions I have to make myself and all the ‘whatifs’ are popping up again. I thought you might be going through this too. You might not be, but it’s good to know for the times you do have to make tough decisions, don’t you think?

 

All my love,

Angel xo

 

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There is More than Enough to Go Around

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Dear Friend,

The other day I found myself being envious of a co-worker of mine. I’d felt like she was falling into fortune that should have been mine. The way I saw it, if we were being logical, I’d worked there longer, so I should have… Well, anyway you get the picture. After about 20 minutes of quiet brooding (while pretending everything was great, of course), I remembered something I was told once, and I wanna share it with you: There is more than enough to go around.

Let’s think about it a bit: Is life a competition? Against whom? How would you know who won? How would you even get everyone to agree on what constituted “winning”? Seems to me, the problem with comparing myself with others is that I’m the only one who know the parameters. If we’re the ones setting the standard and then coming up wanting… then aren’t we just making ourselves miserable? Just something to consider.

My co-worker’s success has no bearing on my ability to be equally successful and I really believe this is true of everyone. Other’s successes take nothing away from our own. I was taught once to observe how abundant nature is. If nature can thrive and flourish then so can we. In the same way that plants and vines grow up through the cracks in the side-walk, we can always find a way to progress and grow. So now, we just need to decide if we’re going to keep looking.

 

All my love,

Angel xo