The Journey Can Be Just As Exciting As The Destination!

Standard

Dear Friend,

I just got back from a trip. And one thing I’m really learning is how to enjoy the journey. Before, when I traveled, I focused on just GETTING THERE. Get me off this plane/train/automobile and put me at my final destination. The thing was that the rush rush rush attitude had a way of not going away and before I knew it I was back home and regretting how eager I was to GET THERE, because time sped up and stayed that way.

This trip, I made a conscious effort to enjoy (or try to enjoy) the days leading up to the trip, including the packing, and to just be present and grateful throughout the journey (even when it was difficult to do so. My family and a few friends will know what I’m talking about. I took a total of 8 flights, 2 lengthy car rides, and one VERY long taxi ride during this trip. It was a total of about 60 hours of travel (wow!) and there were bumps along the way, but I actively looked for things to stay grateful for.

On the way out, the bus to the airport AND all of my flights were delayed, which was great! Imagine if I’d missed a flight, because of a delay! Even the decisions I made that didn’t work out so well still made for interesting stories when I did finally make it to where I was going.

So, this post is just to say that there can be joy in the journey, if you want there to be. 🙂

All my love,

Angel xo

Strength is a funny thing

Standard

Dear Friend,

The dialogue around what makes a person strong has a lot of contradictions in it, don’t you think? For example, some say being strong means doing things yourself, while others say it means knowing how to ask for help.

I don’t know the right answer for what it means to be strong, but I did notice something today.

The interesting thing about getting stronger is that sometimes it feels like you’re actually getting weaker, because you’re more tired or things seem harder… I think it’s really just that you’ve done more, gone farther, and worked harder than you did when you (thought you) were weak.

Because now you (know you) can.

Today, please acknowledge your strength, because you have an abundance of it.

All my love,
Angel xo

Why Settle?

Standard

Dear Friend,

Why do we not just go for what we want? Is it laziness? Ignorance? Maybe fear? Today I wanted a specific meal for dinner. I didn’t have the ingredients to cook it, but I knew exactly where to go to get it. But it was a longer walk than I wanted to make in the cold. So I compromised, went somewhere closer, and ended up paying more for less than what I wanted. It was good, sure, but it wasn’t what I wanted and I’m not sure it was worth what I paid for it.

Sometimes I think we just have to do the work. Go the distance. Put in the time and effort to get exactly what it is we want rather than settling. We may end up spending more than we intended getting what we didn’t even really want in the first place.

Perhaps you either spend your time and effort or you spend more money to compensate. Either way something gets spent, it’s just a question of what you choose to spend and what you choose to spend it on.

Just something to think about.

 

All my love,

Angel xo

You Always Have a Choice

Standard

Dear Friend,

How many times have you said (or heard someone say), “I had no choice”? When was the last time you said it, if you can remember? Today I just want to highlight how much power you give away unnecessarily when you affirm that. I mean, sure, sometimes the choice is obvious to you or maybe it’s the only logical or practical choice. But you always have a choice.

And it’s not just in what you do. It’s also in what you think and how you choose to see things. For example, I received an e-mail at 7pm today telling me I had to have something ready by tomorrow at noon. It’s a time-consuming activity that I had not planned on undertaking today, my day of rest. Not that I can’t do it, I just didn’t want to. But, it would be easy to say here, I have no choice. I have to do it. Really I don’t have to do it. But it’s in my best interest to do it, so I will. The other thing I don’t have to do, is see it as a problem. <Insert “whoa moment” here>

You can totally adjust your thinking so that it serves you rather than hinders you. In my case, it helps no one, least of all me, to grumble and get annoyed that I got such short notice to do this activity that I don’t generally enjoy doing anyway. “I can’t help but feel this way” is only true if you make decisions that form the premise for that thought. If you’ve decided, “I hate getting short notice,” then naturally any time you’re given short (or no) notice, you will be upset.

As for actions, no matter how dire the situation, I still maintain you always have a choice. We don’t need to go into the grizzlies of this, but if you want to, feel free to write back!

Either way, I find it really helps me to realise that my thoughts, my outlook, and my actions are always my choice. No one else has control over that. It’s both empowering and challenging, because now you see all the responsibility lies with you. But you can choose to see that challenge as an obstacle or an opportunity. It’s always up to you.

 

All my love,

Angel xo

 

you decide

You are Extraordinary

Standard

Dear Friend,

There is no one in the world who is exactly like you. You have so much beauty and purpose to bring to the world. Don’t ever let yourself feel like you’re insignificant or expendable because of someone else’s actions. Easy words to say, perhaps (maybe they aren’t easy for some of us to say about ourselves). You know what’s really tricky? Not letting yourself feel insignificant because of your own thoughts and actions.

It’s funny, I started writing this letter a couple weeks ago and meant to post it last Sunday, but forgot (sorry about that! My first missed Sunday). As it turns out, though, this letter I write to you is the lesson (I only realised yesterday) that I needed for myself. So I say these words to you, and hope that they sink into my subconscious.

I feel a little like Viola Davis’ character in The Help when she talks to the little girl. But you are special, you are smart, and you are important and I want you to always remember that. When people compliment you, what do you do? Do you say thank you but? “Aww thanks, but it’s only because…” If yes, stop doing that. Aim to only say “Thank you” (with a smile would be even better). For me, I’d mastered that phase, but the back talk was still going on in my head. I would smile and say a big thank you and then in my head doubt whether or not they meant it, or question why they said it, or wonder if they’d have said it if some other thing was true (there was always something).

Are you anything like me? Let’s try replacing our back chatter, or our “little hater” as Jay Smooth says (he even made a song about it, which I love, check it out), with things like “Damn right” or “I’m so glad you notice.”

That’s my goal from here on out and my challenge to you, because you deserve to feel as extraordinary as you already are!

 

All my love,

Angel xo

 

keep-calm-because-you-are-extraordinary

You Might As Well Go For It -or- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Standard

Dear Friend,

I wonder, have you ever opted out of something for fear of failure or embarrassment? Have you ever chosen to take no action on something you love/want to try/believe in because you don’t believe it will make a difference? I know I have, several times. I have had a HUGE fear of failure. Mostly because, for me, failure is embarrassing. And I hate to be embarrassed. Being embarrassed means being vulnerable and, at the centre of it all, this is what I hate the most -being vulnerable.

Anyway, I wanted to ask, because if you’re anything like me (at least in this regard) then it’s something you struggle with or are working on. Going for it even through the fear isn’t easy, but what’s the alternative? Playing it safe by doing something you don’t want to do?

You’ve seen the clip floating around of Jim Carrey giving a speech at a graduation ceremony. He talked about how his dad wanted to be Comedian, but played it safe to provide for his family. He ended up being laid off and struggling to find new work. Jim said in his speech his lesson from that was “you can fail at what you DON’T want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love!” (check out the clip here)

That has stuck with me better than anything else when it comes to my fear of failure. I’d thought that if I played it safe, then I wouldn’t be doing what I loved, but at least I’d be able to pay the rent. Haha not so! When you see that failure may come regardless of what you choose to do, it becomes much more obvious what choices to make.

I hope that made sense. But if we reframe our fears of failure and see that we can “fail” at anything, but we can also succeed immensely, then it’s easier to make the choice to do what we love.

Here’s hoping that you go forward and do what you love. Give it your best effort, even through the fear.

All my love,
Angel xo

 

If this is your work, please contact me so I can credit you!

If this is your work, please contact me so I can credit you!